Eric Helin Design - Music: Hats Off for Uncle Sam

Music & Lyrics: Hats Off!! for Uncle Sam

So give a body slam to my dear old Uncle Sam
Who finally told me one too many lies!
If you ask me why I’m not . . . a patriot
I’ll you half a dozen real good reasons why!

This story . . . it began in the days of Vietnam
“Just a young man” – when my Uncle said to me
You ought’ta go and fight for the Red, the Blue and White
And save this land for Truth and Liberty

Well we didn’t have much stake then
In the world the ol’ boy’d made
But when “chips are down”
The Family sticks around

He said: “we’d fight with you,
If we were able to
But we’re much too old
And it’s hard to get around”

With a sly wink of his eye
He looked over at “the guys”
And the “good ol’ boys”
Just gave a solemn nod

Sayin’, “the world’s no longer safe
And our liberty is at stake
So we’re gonna ask you “kids”
To “take the plunge”

Then back behind the stage
A tremblin’ hand was raised
A young “cousin” said:
“We might die in those jungle bogs”

My Uncle said “shit fire!”
“Son, you ain’t gonna’ die”
“And besides it’s for a noble cause”

Well, the war it soon got stuck
And dragged down in jungle muck
It took sixty-thousand of my “cousin’s” lives
Then I found out that “The Bum”
Was sellin’ guns to everyone
That he sent me and my cousins
Out to fight!

So raise your glass on high!
And here’s “mud in his eye”
Give a “toast-off”
To my “kindly” Uncle Sam

And may his colors run
In the wind, and rain, and sun
And I hope “the People”
Finally take a stand!

Now there was this little man
He wore a black robe and
Held a little wooden hammer
In his “right”

I knew somethin’ was amiss
When I heard his little hiss
And I saw my Uncle’s twinkle
In his eye

And those who had no choice
Who never found their voice
He didn’t care about their pain or plight
They laid there in their wombs
Then died there in those tombs
A million eyes that never saw the light

My Uncle hired two sorry jerks
To do his dirty work
One always held a trunk beneath his chin
His sidekick was (alas)
A sad, flop-eared little ass
With one look, I knew they meant to do me in

Then that “old boy” “on the take”
Who stole more than I’ll ever make
In a hundred lifetimes workin’ at my job
Now he travels on his yacht
To exotic ports (and other spots)
But he knows my Uncle well . . . he won’t get caught

When the “hogs” up on “The HILL”
Go a-rootin through the till
Eatin’ everything that’s in their way
We oughtta take and stake ‘em
Cut ‘em up in slabs of bacon
And end up dumpin’ tea out in the bay!